Am I Being Unfair? Why I Won’t Let My Kids Use Social Media (Even Though I Do)

As a parent in today’s digital world, I often face tricky questions. One that’s been on my mind lately is: Am I being unfair by not allowing my children to use social media while I still use it myself?

It’s a valid question and one that many parents are quietly wrestling with. After all, social media is woven into the fabric of our daily lives — from staying in touch with friends to keeping up with news and even managing work responsibilities. But when it comes to our children, we often hesitate. Why is that?

The Double Standard — Or Is It?

At first glance, it might seem hypocritical. I scroll through my feeds, post updates, and engage online, while at the same time knowing that I’m going to tell my children, when the time comes, that they can’t have an account. But the reality is more nuanced. As adults, we (ideally) have the tools to navigate online spaces with critical thinking, self-regulation, and a clearer sense of boundaries. Kids, on the other hand, are still developing those skills.

Many experts suggest delaying kids’ access to social media for good reasons — concerns about mental health, exposure to inappropriate content, online bullying, and the addictive nature of these platforms. As a parent, my job is to guide and protect, even if that sometimes means setting rules that look different from what I do myself.

Teaching by Example — and By Conversation

That said, I also recognize the importance of modeling good behavior. If I’m constantly glued to my phone while telling my children that screens are bad (more about that here), that sends mixed messages. So, I’m trying to be more mindful about my own social media habits — not just for my sake, but to show my children a healthier relationship with technology. Remember, children are more inclined to imitate your actions than to follow your instructions.

And perhaps more importantly, I’m opening up conversations. I explain why certain rules are in place, and I acknowledge that, yes, it might feel unfair at times. I want my child to understand not just the what but the why behind these decisions.

“Children are more inclined to imitate your actions than to follow your instructions.”

Finding Balance

Parenting in the digital age is all about balance. It’s okay to have different rules for different ages and stages. What matters is being thoughtful, consistent, and willing to adapt as our kids grow and as technology evolves.

So, am I being unfair? I don’t think so. I’m doing my best to balance protection with preparation — shielding my child now while slowly equipping them to handle the online world when they’re ready.

Before I let you go, I want to mention one thing — no matter what decision you make regarding your kids’ use of social media, they will be just fine because they have you looking out for them. The fact that you are here, asking this important question, says that you love and care for your kiddos and want what is best for them. You are already an amazing mom ♡.