Why Over-Scheduling Our Littles Might Be Doing More Harm Than Good
I took my daughter to dance class this week and couldn’t help but overhear another mom talking about her family’s schedule. Her daughter was signed up for dance, gymnastics, swim, karate, and Girl Scouts—something every day, five days a week. Weekends were spent going to her son’s soccer games. As she described their routine, I found myself feeling exhausted just listening. It sounded less like a childhood and more like a full-time job. Now, I’m not here to judge—because let’s be real, we’re all just doing the best we can for our babies. But it got me thinking: could this be doing more harm than good? And honestly, let’s not forget—it’s exhausting for us too! Who doesn’t want to relax after a long day at work?
As moms, we all want the best for our kids. We want to give them every opportunity, every chance to shine, every skill they might need someday. So we sign them up: ballet, soccer, art class, piano, swim lessons—the calendar fills up faster than we realize. But somewhere between shuttling them from activity to activity and juggling our own to-dos, an important question pops up: Is all this really helping them? Or are we accidentally stealing their childhood?
The Pressure Cooker Childhood
When we pack every hour of their day with structured activities, we may be doing more than just keeping them busy—we’re creating stress. Studies have shown that children, even as young as preschool age, can experience anxiety when their schedules feel overwhelming (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2007). They pick up on our stress, too. The rush to get out the door, the pressure to perform well in every activity…it adds up (If you haven’t already read up on how rushing your kids affects their development, please do. I promise to write about this soon).
The Disappearing Art of Boredom
Remember when we were kids and complained about being bored? I certainly do. And remember what came next? That boredom often sparked the best games, the wildest stories, and the most creative ideas. Free, unstructured playtime is crucial for little minds. It fosters creativity, independence, and problem-solving skills (Ginsburg, 2007). When every minute is scheduled, we leave no room for imagination to bloom.
When I was growing up, I hardly remember watching TV. I’d watch an episode of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and my parents would tell me to turn it off. I think this is because my parents would actually encourage boredom. They would always tell me to go outside and find something to do. As upsetting as this was as a kid, I would go outside and ride my bike through the neighborhood, climb trees, get on the roof, make bracelets, and sell them door to door. I was running a business with my neighbor at 10! We always found things to do, and we didn’t realize we were learning the entire time. I encourage you to let your kids be bored, let them go outside, let them use their imagination and explore the world around them.
Family Time Takes a Hit
When my daughter gets out of dance, we need to rush through dinner, bath time, story time, and the little time she gets with daddy in the evening. This isn’t bonding. She loves dance class, but the days she goes to dance can be a bit overwhelming for all of us.
Busy schedules don’t just wear out the kids—they wear out the whole family. Too many structured activities have been linked to higher stress for parents and less family connection time (Offer, 2013). Family dinners get skipped, bedtime routines become rushed, and those slow, sweet moments of connection become rare. And let’s be honest: driving from one activity to the next isn’t quality bonding time (even if snacks and sing-alongs help!).
Signs Your Little One Might Be Over-Scheduled
Frequent meltdowns or mood swings
Trouble sleeping or feeling tired all the time
Complaints of headaches or stomachaches
Saying they don’t want to go to their activities anymore
Lack of interest in things they used to love
Finding the Balance
It’s not about cutting out activities altogether—sports and classes can be wonderful! But it’s okay (and healthy!) to say no sometimes. Here are a few things that have helped in our home:
Limit activities: Try to stick to one or two extracurriculars per season.
Protect downtime: Block out chunks of free time on the calendar just like you would for an appointment.
Listen to your child: If they seem stressed or exhausted, it might be time to scale back.
Embrace the slow days: Unscheduled afternoons can become the best family memories.
The Takeaway
Our littles have their whole lives ahead of them to learn, grow, and succeed. Right now, they also need time to just be kids—to play, to daydream, to rest. As moms, we can give them that gift by guarding their time a little more fiercely. Less hustle, more heart. Less rushing, more wonder.
References:
On Overscheduling and Stress in Children:
American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), 2007: The AAP published a report titled The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds, which warns that an overemphasis on structured activities and achievement can cause stress and anxiety in children.
Ginsburg, K. R. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics, 119(1), 182-191. https://doi.org/10.1542/peds.2006-2697
On the Importance of Unstructured Play:
Pediatrics (Official Journal of the AAP): Free play is essential for developing creativity, problem-solving skills, and emotional resilience.
Ginsburg, K. R. (2007). Pediatrics, 119(1), 182-191.
On Signs of Over-Scheduled Kids and Family Strain:
Child Mind Institute: Lists common symptoms of stress in children, including headaches, stomachaches, mood swings, and sleep issues.
Child Mind Institute. (n.d.). Anxiety in children. Retrieved from https://childmind.org/article/what-are-the-signs-of-anxiety-in-children/Journal of Family Issues, 2009: Found that too many structured activities can negatively impact family cohesion and increase stress for parents.
Offer, S. (2013). The burden of leisure? The impact of family activities on parents’ well-being. Journal of Family Issues, 34(3), 405-424. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X12437696
